Just imagine: two white suburban Jewish boys, with the noses to prove it, bouncing (not like Matt) out of Yellowstone National Park with matching fake Aviators on and listening to The Eminem Show in a manual 2003 Ford Focus with a missing hubcap. Can you say white trash party?! Or the beginning of Vaughn and Forrest’s road trip? Sadly, both. Look out Sigma Tau Delta!! Anyways, we headed out around 9:45 and planned on making it to Reno because we had reservations in the Sands Regency for the night. Because Vaughn and I were both blessed with the gift of monetary efficiency (cheap), we got bagged lunches to take with us so we wouldn’t have to pay for lunch and we could drive the whole time. So we drove about 12 hours straight, only stopping to switch drivers and get gas. The scenery was gorgeous with rolling hills and some surprising rugged mountains, with a great sunset to finish off the drive. Two very exciting things happened while we were in the car: first, Vaughn put a whole warm greasy cheese stick down his throat…very impressive. It almost matches Big Jake trying to fit a whole banana down his throat. Maturity is obviously not a characteristic I look for in my guy friends (ladies, don’t think immaturity is something you’re gonna get away with). The second exciting thing was that I drove 339 miles straight, which is the longest I’ve ever driven straight!! I haven’t felt this accomplished since I finished a WHOLE Salisbury steak at the EDR. When we got about 10 miles from our hotel in Reno, we got off an exit to get cheap gas and we saw a Del Taco restaurant, so we decided to try it. 49 cent tacos!! Monetary efficiency at its finest. Unfortunately, I ended up having 4 tacos and a bean and cheese burrito and Vaughn had 6 tacos. That is why the computer is presently on my lap and the opposite side of my lap is presently on the toilet (not really, but I was anticipating having to do so). That restaurant is where the fatties of the world (such as myself and Huckleberry) unite. After the restaurant we wobbled back to the car and drove to the hotel. Now Vaughn could not stop saying how sketchy and crappy the hotel was gonna be (he booked it so I had no clue what it would be like) and how it was on the outskirts of Reno. When we arrived at the hotel, it was a high-rise right next to the main hotels in Reno…it actually could be considered a main hotel. And it was only $35 for the night!! When we walked in, they had a decent casino floor and we went to the front desk to check in. While in line, there was a girl and her mom at the slot machines and Vaughn said the mom could not keep her eyes off of me, probably because of my stunning good looks and George Clooney-esque features (or because I had blue gym shorts, my The Farce softball jersey and red crocs on). So we checked in and went up to our room, which we weren’t expecting much of. Little did we know that the room was freaking amazing!! Two queen beds (nice ones with no bed bugs that I know of yet), a nice bathroom, a big window with a view of the parking lot (hey, any view for $35 bucks is great) and a fancy mirror where I can fix my hair in front of in the morning (don’t think it just falls into place like this)!! We were so ecstatic that we even decided to go gamble on the floor for a bit. We played a little black jack and then moved to the slots, which I told Vaughn I would only play the ones with the lever because it’s fun pulling the lever. So we found some lever slot machines and let me tell you, once ya pop ya just can’t stop!! Unless your dollar runs out, which Vaughn’s did. But I WON!! I WON I WON I WON I WON!!! And the dollar and one cent that I won I gave to Vaughn so we could both play some more of the penny/nickel slots. BIG MONEY!! But we both ended up losing all our money, even after Vaughn won a little and gave me my dollar back. But I don’t just quit like a Tribioni. So after we walked around the main strip of Reno and in all the casinos (took about 30 minutes, and we went slow), we came back and put one more dollar in the slot machines. Let me just say that I must be living right, because on my 4th or so pull I got a huge payday and my money went from 70 cents to $5!! Of course I cashed out right after that. And they say the house always wins…psh, the house had obviously never met me. So I am going to treat Vaughn and myself to some more tacos tomorrow with my big winnings (if we are able to move after tonight’s tacos), and hopefully I’ll be as big a winner in life tomorrow as I was in the casino tonight!!
Tip of the day from Don’t Sweat the Small Things:
“Smile at a stranger, look deep into their eyes, and say hello.”
I did that twice today and ended up having two pleasant conversations in the elevator with two different people at two different times.
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